Ask the Expert: 5 Fitness Tricks for Better Sex, Part 2

Q: They say that being in better shape helps improve your sex life. How is working out going to make me last longer or have better sex? Since I am not one to pass up a good thing, can you add a little something for my wife too (wink, wink) ;)

A: Since we couldn't get all the juicy tricks for better sex in the last newsletter, we are giving you more yummy goodies.

For a quick recap, click here.  Now for the good stuff:


4. Learn what works


  a. Kegel for women and men

     i. Unlike the muscles in our arms or legs, sex muscles are rarely active during the course of the day. However, by strengthening these "secret" muscles, couples can enjoy more intense sex. Kegel exercises firm the muscles of the vagina, helping women gain muscle control (to grip the penis) and reach orgasm more easily.

     ii. Men can use this exercise to delay ejaculation by contracting the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles just before orgasm, then fully relaxing them. Named after Los Angeles physician Arnold Kegel, these exercises strengthen the PC muscles in the pelvis. Though sometimes confused with the abdominal muscles, PCs are the muscles used to stop the flow of urine midstream (not the muscles used to hold in your stomach or tighten your buttocks).

     iii. Here's how Kegels work: Contract your PC muscles by clenching, as though stopping urine, and hold for at least two to three seconds per squeeze. Inhale as you squeeze each time and try to fully relax your muscles between each contraction. So you don't get sore, start with just 10 or 20 squeezes. Kegels can be practiced nearly anytime and in any place.

     iv. Try them in the morning with each bite of breakfast, while chatting with a co-worker, while watching television or flipping the pages of a magazine until you can do at least 100 to 200 each day. "The squeeze" is fun and easy, and can stimulate erotic feelings. Daily workouts for about one month should yield results.

  b. Get on top -Woman on top variation

     i. Woman on top position is the top rated position for producing female orgasm

     ii. Why do men love this position?

        1. You are taking charge. Men often initiate sex and control the flow and tempo of it. It can be a lot of pressure on the guy to perform and bring you to orgasm. When you are at the helm, it eases some of the pressure. When you are on top and taking control, they know that you are turned on and into it (and them). They also know that if they have any chance of taking you to the “mountain top” that this is the position that will do it.

        2. They get a full frontal view of your beautiful breast and other parts. Men are visual creatures and seeing a sexy image of their partner is an amazing turn on. Guys are not a judgmental as women may think. They do not notice the majority of the flaws that we obsess about until women point them out. Another bonus to the seeing your parts is that this is the only time he really gets to see his partner “perform”. So ladies, pretend you are in a rodeo if you must and go for it.

        3. They don’t have to work so hard. They can sit there and enjoy it. Sex is a lot work, therefore the reason for all the sweating. It takes stamina, strength, flexibility and mental work to keep switching positions…your guy is working. Return the favor by letting him sit and enjoy it while you do some of the lifting. Gravity helps the ladies in this position since you are both sitting or lying down. It will allow him to go deeper and last longer.

     iii. Why women love this position

        1. You are in control. It feels good to be in charge in fun way. Take it up a notch by blind folding him/using his article of clothing such as his t-shirt to tie his hands behind his back.

        2. You control the tempo and angle. It can be frustrating when he finds “your spot” and despite your verbal urging to “stay right there”, he moves and “the spot” and moment is lost. When you are in control of the shift, you control the tempo, angle and how long you stay there. Yeah hooo!

        3. It stimulates the famous G Spot and clitoris at the same time. This is the perfect recipe combination for pleasure…need I say more?

c. Strengthen your lower body and core

     i. Quads, gluteus, hamstrings - Squats and lunges(see top); Plank holds and sit ups.

d. Hold her – Fellas women are usually the ones in awkward positions that are difficult to hold. You have to strong enough to assist her or carry her entire body weight. So use the total body workout. It would be great if you can lift the same or more of your partner’s weight but we know that it may be asking for a lot from some of you. Do the best you can, a little effort and time in the gym will go a long way.

5. Flexibility is the key

  a. Seriously consider Yoga

     i. Today yoga lovers are finding that more time on the mat means more--and steamier--time spent reveling in their newly toned bodies. To take a walk on yoga's carnal side, add these sex moves to your yoga routine for overall better sex. Or just do them by themselves to turn up the heat.



Having more flexible muscles and joints definitely helps in assuming those compromising positions. Opening your hips in particular gives you a wider range of motion in your nether regions, allowing for more direct stimulation in just the right spots. After all, one micro-movement in missionary is sometimes all it takes to ring the bell.


On a purely physical level, many yoga poses — such as upavista konasana, or wide-legged straddle pose — increase blood flow down there.



Here are two of the many yoga poses that can help boost your enjoyment in the boudoir:

Upavista Konasana (Wide Straddle Forward Bend – straddle stretch)

How to do it: Sit on the floor with your legs wide. Leg muscles are activated and toes and kneecaps point straight up. Lean your torso forward as far as it goes comfortably. Hold for 5 to 10 deep breaths.

Sexual Benefits: Increases blood flow (and thus sensation) in the pelvis.

Baddha Konasana (Bound Angle Pose, also known as Cobbler’s Pose - butterflies)

How to do it: Sit with your knees bent and soles of the feet touching. Lightly hold your big toes and lean your torso forward over your legs (back is gently rounded). Hold for 5 to 10 deep breaths.

Sexual benefits: Alleviates urinary and uterine disorders. Strengthens the uterus. Eases irritability, anxiety and fatigue, three reasons we might choose not to have sex.



  b. Hip flexors, Groins and hamstrings with partner- straddle stretch, sitting or lying butterflies, Pelvis lift.

Stretches are best done after you warmed up. We do not recommend starting your stretching exercises when your muscles are cold.

     i. Straddle stretch (Partner)

        1. Sit with your legs spread as far away from each other as you can get. Flex your feet, put your hands on the ground, keep your back straight, take a deep breath and walk your hands out as far as you can take them. Hold for 15 -30 seconds. Walk your hands back to your body. Repeat 3 times. Try to do this every day. You can do this as well with your partner. Sit facing each other, holding hands in front of you, pull your partner to you for 15-30 seconds and let your partner pull you in for 15-30 seconds. Be careful not to over task the muscle! Stop if their person feels pain.

     ii. Butterflies (Partner)

        1. Lie on your back with knees bent. Feet should be together and flat on the bed. Next, pull your feet in until they touch your buttocks. Turn your ankles so the soles of your feet are facing each other and touching. Your knees will point out to the sides of the bed.

        2. Lower your knees toward the bed taking care not to force them down. You or your partner may gently press downward on your inner thighs. When your knees are as far apart as is comfortable, hold for 60 seconds. Gently bring the knees back together with your hands and relax.

        3. This exercise can also be done sitting up, back-to-back with your partner. Sit up as straight as possible with your spines pressed gently together. Relax your shoulders and keep your head in line with your spine. Bring your feet in as close to your body as possible, and turn them so your soles touch and knees point out. Clasp your feet. Breathe deeply and watch as your knees begin to lower, taking care not to force the knees down.

        4. The butterfly is also beneficial for menstrual irregularities urinary problems and is thought to help ease the pain of childbirth.

  c. Pelvic Lifts (partner)

     i. Lie on your back with knees bent and slightly apart. Feet should be flat on the floor and arms at your side. Inhale, clenching your abdominals and buttocks and lifting the pelvis until your back is straight. Take care not to arch your back. Breathe as you hold the position for at least 10 seconds. Exhale as you lower your body and repeat the exercise.

     ii. After you complete your lifts, try a few pelvic bounces, an exercise that can "evoke powerful sexual feelings," according to sex therapists David and Ellen Ramsdale.

     iii. As with the pelvic lift, knees are bent and slightly apart. Your palms should face up. Inhale and lift your pelvis just slightly off the ground. Then, exhale and let it down so your lower back bounces gently against the floor. Experiment with variations. Your goal is to feel a sense of openness and release.

     iv. To include your partner, have your partner place lie with toes facing each other. If you can, place knees between each other(your left knee, then your partners right knee, then your right knee, then your partners left knees. Follow instructions above.

We never prescribe exercise without addressing nutrition. Nutrition is a very important component that goes hand in hand with fitness. Make sure you incorporate a proper nutrition program to complement and enhance your fitness program. Try some of our suggested recipes to had even more fire to your burn!